Don’t Go There: From Chernobyl to North Korea—one man’s quest to lose himself and find everyone else in the world’s strangest places by Adam Fletcher

Author:Adam Fletcher [Fletcher, Adam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-02-05T05:00:00+00:00

“I hate it here,” Annett reiterated, as we crossed the compound for dinner, our shoes now caked in mud. The only cake on offer here.

“I think it’s very quaint and rustic,” I lied. “These people are focused on their religion. They don’t need trappings like working doors and toilet seats that don’t fall off when you sit on them. It’s going to be very relaxing once we get used to it.”

The dinner was fantastic. I didn’t even have to lie about that, although I’d been more than prepared to. The quality of the meal was particularly impressive considering the Krishnas had banned almost everything worth eating. The vegetable-heavy fare, much of it grown in the garden, was delicious, as was the home-made bread. It didn’t leave you feeling bloated and guilty like the bloody crime scene that was rest of Argentinian cuisine.

Annett was less enthusiastic about it. “It’s Moppelkotze,” she said, pushing at a pile of beans with her fork. I had no idea what Moppelkotze was. This truly was a place of learning. “Moppelkotze is like what they serve at hospitals when you can’t chew,” she clarified.

I picked up a little more bread. “You’re seriously telling me you don’t find this food delicious?”

She pushed her plate over to me. “That’s what I’m telling you.”

This meant that I got to eat more, which was great, but that Annett stayed hungry, which wasn’t. After dinner we went to the community centre, took a yoga mat, pushed it against the wall, and watched a movie. It was a documentary with a long non-English name and designed to remind us how interconnected we all are. It was nice, and true, but weird to be watching it here, since we’d all come to the ashram to get disconnected.

“Did you like it?” Annett asked, as we slopped and sloshed our way back to our lodgings. We’d forgotten to bring a torch on the trip, and so were navigating by mobile-phone light.

“It was very thought-provoking,” I lied.

“Liar!” she shouted, louder than she’d intended. She recalibrated her volume. “Stop trying to make the best out of everything. I hate it when you do that.”

We discovered our hut had taken on the pungent aroma of a blocked-up sewage system, on account of its blocked-up sewage system. “Damn,” I said, as the toilet seat slipped off, again, while I was sitting on it. An unidentified bug stared up at me from the shower basin.

“I heard you swear,” Annett said when I returned. I crossed the room quickly, attempting a strategic retreat to the safety of my upper bunk.

“You didn’t.”

“I did. You hate it here as well.”

I had the bunk’s ladder in my hands. “I don’t. I’m having a lovely time. I’m excited to learn more about the Hare Krishna faith. It’s good to get out of the city and back to basics.”

“Liar!” she said again, and rolled over to face the wall. “Argh. There’s ants everywhere.” She rolled back.

“Suffering is—”

“Fuck you!” She punched me as I fled up the ladder to my bunk.

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